Stories that Inspire: Advising is Forever - Adventures in Advising

In Ep. 106, we've changed the format as we've invited six authors to read from the NACADA Pocket Guide, Advising is Forever: Sharing Stories to Ignite (or Reignite) Your Advising Spirit that capture the raw, inspiring, and emotional stories in this academic advising profession. Also learn more about the upcoming Region conferences from Ben Hopper, NACADA Executive Office.

Authors in order of appearance:

• Kacey Gregerson, University of Minnesota-Twin Cities
• Megumi Makino-Kanehiro, University of Hawai'i at Mānoa
• Thomas Beckwith, University of Florida
• Colum Cronin, Marino Institute of Education
• Kerry Kincanon, Oregon State University
• Jennifer Arin, San Francisco State University

Order the NACADA Pocket Guide, Advising is Forever: Sharing Stories to Ignite (or Reignite) Your Advising Spirit

Submit a proposal by October 15th, 2024 for the Region Conferences!

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Transcript

Matt Markin  
Hey, advising friends. This is Matt Markin, and welcome to episode 106, of the Adventures in Advising podcast. We have a change in format for today's episode, as this episode is based off a suggestion about reading from a publication. And since this podcast is about hearing stories from the advising community, why not bring authors to read their short stories from the 2022 Pocket Guide, Advising is Forever: Sharing Stories to Ignite or Reignite Your Advising Spirit. This is published by NACADA, the global community for academic advising. This is also a pocket guide that I was a co editor on, along with Leah Panganiban. In this episode, you'll hear from six of the authors from the NACADA Pocket Guide, not only reading their published story, but also briefly sharing why they wrote their story and why it's important to them. Thank you to Ashley Thomas and the NACADA Executive Office for allowing for the content of the Pocket Guide to be shared in this format. Now, before we get to the stories, let's hear from Ben Hopper from the NACADA Executive Office about the upcoming NACADA region conferences. Ben, welcome back to the podcast. How are you?

Ben Hopper  
I'm great, man. Thanks. Thanks for having me back on Adventures and Advising, of course.

Matt Markin  
And this is great timing, because you have some region conferences coming up in spring of next year or in early 2025 what can you tell us about the region conferences?

Ben Hopper  
Well before I begin, I just, I'm excited that I'm on this one about the Pocket Guide, because that was such a great pocket guide that you all did, and I have on my bookshelf behind me an autographed copy of it, saying it was, it was a great read, so I'm excited to hear the stories.

Matt Markin  
Yeah, and I'm sure that autographed copy is going to be worth a lot of money one of these days.

Ben Hopper  
Yes, I will have to auction that off, maybe at a NACADA fundraiser in the future. Well, I'm here to talk about the region conferences, and we're excited for in 2025 in the spring, we will have seven region conference experiences. Will be in Buffalo, New York for Regions one and two. Will be in Memphis, Tennessee for Regions three and seven, and then Jacksonville, Florida for Region four, Chicago for Region five. Region six will be just outside of Minneapolis, Minnesota and Bloomington. And then Regions eight, nine will be doing a joint conference in Anchorage, Alaska, and Region 10 will be in Salt Lake City. So we have some really cool locations, and we're excited to have people at the conferences in the spring, but the conferences won't be anything if we don't have great proposals. And so that's what I'm here to talk about, is that we're now accepting proposals for pre conference workshops, concurrent sessions, which are, can either be a lecture or a panel format, as well as poster sessions for all of those seven region conferences experiences, and the proposal system is open now. So go to the NACADA website and click on any of the region conference pages, and just go to the call for proposals page, and you'll find out information about how to submit. And those are all due at 11:59pm Central on Tuesday, October 15. So you have, I think, when this is released, maybe about two weeks before the deadline. So be thinking about those and make sure that you get them in by October 15. 

Matt Markin  
I think it's important, like you said, that the deadline is 11:59pm, Central time on October 15, because there was a time a few years back that I unfortunately submitted mine after the deadline, because I saw 1159 but forgot it was central time and not Pacific time.

Ben Hopper  
Yeah, because the executive office is located in Manhattan, Kansas, and with our systems and the websites, we're able to set those and just expire them at the end of the day, which is the end of our day here in the central time, so we just call that NACADA time.

Matt Markin  
And speaking of proposals, let's say you might have newer advisors. Maybe they've been in the field for less than three years, let's say and they might second guess themselves against submitting a proposal. What do you say to them?

Ben Hopper  
I say you have a story to share, or information to share, from whatever perspective you're coming from, what type of institution you're from, or how long you've been in the field. So you have something to contribute, and you're going to trigger something in one of the attendees of, oh yeah, we're in the same boat, or they're going to learn from you, or you're going to make a connection. So don't feel like I'm so new that I don't have anything to offer. I can't share anything, because you have something to share. And so I definitely encourage everyone to submit a proposal, because it's a great opportunity to hone your professional development, to hone your skills as a presenter and a communicator. Here, but also it's a great way to network. You'll also learn something, but you'll also validate what you're doing on your campus, or what you're doing in your in your office, or, you know, a new technique that you're doing, or it'll just validate what you're doing, or help you improve when you hear from others as well. So definitely submit a proposal.

Matt Markin  
And you can also write up a proposal and submit it with multiple presenters. Maybe there's a colleague at your institution or someone you want to collaborate with at another institution. It means that you don't have to do it all by yourself and present by yourself.

Ben Hopper  
Yeah, definitely. And so that that's great to have some some folks to present with, but also bounce ideas off with and help fill up that 60 Minutes concurrent session. Or if you do a pre con, it's either a two or three hour session. So having some additional voices can can help.

Matt Markin  
Now, of course, budget can be an issue, especially nowadays, and for some professional development, funds may be drying up at their institution, in your opinion, with budgetary issues at many institutions, why are region conferences a benefit to members? And how does NACADA help with that?

Ben Hopper  
Well, yeah, historically and still today, we try to keep our professional development as affordable as possible, and like anything the cost of food and beverage and AV has gone up, but we still try to keep them as affordable as possible. But even with the region conferences specifically, we are adding more value to the conference experience with networking sessions and filling up the concurrent sessions as full as possible. So that's why it's important that we get a lot of submissions to have a really nice, robust conference. And since we've come back out of the pandemic, our numbers have increased in attendance for the region conferences, and so our proposals have also increased. But to make sure that we have an awesome conference experience, we need you to submit proposals to make that and to make sure that the attendees are getting a great value for for attending. But we do know that there are budget constraints and challenges when it comes to budgets on your campus, and so we did have awards. The region awards program provides scholarships and awards for for advisors to attend the region conferences. So so definitely check out those opportunities to help cover funding for for Region conferences, to travel to region conferences, and then, as well, as you know, annual conferences. Just around the corner, it's too late to apply for for scholarships for that, but we do have scholarships available for annual conference and the institutes as well.

Matt Markin  
And if a region member wanted to find more information about awards and scholarships, do they just go to their specific region website?

Ben Hopper  
Yeah. So go to your specific region website and then click on awards and scholarships, and there will be information about how to apply and for awards this year for the 2025 awards conference, or awards season, awards close November 4, and so you have a little bit longer to fill out referral awards, and then scholarships will be due for November 4. But then also graduate students, those close on January 14th.

Matt Markin  
A little bit of extra time for those but most importantly, right now, get your conference proposal submitted by October 15, 11:59pm, Central time. You can also find information about the region conferences at your region website, or find links in the show notes. Ben Hopper, thanks for jumping on the podcast today and talking to us about the region conferences. 

Ben Hopper  
Always great. Matt. Take care.

Matt Markin  
Now. Let's hear from the authors of the pocket guide, Advising is Forever.

Kacey Gregerson  
Thank you. By Casey Gregerson from University of Minnesota Twin Cities, I remember the days that Ana visited me in fall 2017 vividly during one of our meetings, she disclosed that she identified as a trans woman and was in the process of transitioning. Ana explained that she wanted someone in the department to know I listened, shared resources, and asked her if it was okay to document this in our advising system that would be seen by people other than myself. Ana said, No, not at this point. My note for that meeting simply stated, met to discuss upcoming changes. We saw each other in passing a few more times throughout the semester. In December, I arrived at work and had a faculty member contact me and asked me to reach out to Ana. Ana had contacted them early in the morning and wanted to meet the faculty member was concerned and asked if I had heard from her. I said no, but that I would reach out, I emailed Anna and asked her to come in. Ana came in, and I could tell she was not doing. Okay, her stories were all over the place. She was repeating words and crying. We tried to call a helpline, but Ana could not speak. We walked across the street to the mental health clinic, and I filled out the forms for her, as she could not recall how to spell her last name, knowing Ana was in the clinic's care. I went home to my two year old daughter that night, and I had my arm around my daughter as she watched Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood and thought, this is all I can give to you right now. I did all of the above because that is what we do as advisors. NACADA lists the first core value as caring academic advisors, respond to and are accessible to others in ways that challenge, support, nurture and teach. We meet students where they are, and sometimes we have days that are very challenging, to the point of needing time to decompress the events. We also are the people on campus who students may reach out to when they know they need help but are not sure how to take that first step. Almost two years later, the most amazing thing happened, Ana entered my office and stated the following, which I will never forget. I scheduled this appointment for two reasons. The first I wanted to make sure I am on track to graduate. The second is to say, thank you. I know I am two years too late, but I wanted to thank you for walking me to the clinic that day and for getting me the help I needed. Advising is Forever. 

Kacey Gregerson  
That was a pretty big advising moment for me, as you can tell from the story, filling out the forms for someone because they can't recall their last name. But then I think we don't get a lot of students that come back two years later to say thank you, and the fact that this student did that was amazing. I saw that Ana had an appointment scheduled with me, and I was like, oh, okay, we'll catch up. And the fact that they took the time to schedule that appointment, and then to specifically say I wanted to say thank you was just the icing on the cake to the fact that the student was okay. And so I think that's like, it's awesome that it happened to me, and I know it doesn't always happen to advisors. And so I wanted to make sure advisors know that the students, the students, remember you, and the students may not always be as comfortable as the student wants to come back in and say thank you, but they aren't thinking it a lot.

Megumi Makino-Kanehiro  
Options. Megumi Makino-Kanehiro, University of Hawaii at Manoa. Although I had advised for four years, I still got nervous every time I grabbed a student folder, I would worry whether I would have a science student, a student on suspension, or a student who tested the limits of my working knowledge. So when I glanced down, my heart happily skipped a beat the student had a graduation check on her folder, so I was fairly certain that the session would be straightforward and positive. Congratulations, you're about to graduate. I greeted her cheerfully. Her smile suddenly vanished, and she replied darkly, yeah, that's the problem. Confused and wanting to help, I asked her numerous questions. Gradually, she shared that she had decided that she would major in sociology. All her high school friends were majoring in sociology, and she saw it as a good way to keep in contact with them. While her friends were excited about their classes, she thought they were just okay semester after semester, she earned subpar grades. She convinced herself that this was what college was like. But then she found herself hating her classes, her professors, and to her amazement, the friend she had been trying so hard to hold on to. In short, she summarized she hated her major. So how did you realize you didn't want to major in sociology? To my surprise, the student transformed into another person before my eyes. I took a family resources class, and I absolutely loved it. She exclaimed. Her eyes lit up. A Smile burst forth, and her voice rang out as she listed the reasons why she enjoyed the courses, examples of what she had learned and interesting thing. She had realized I felt ecstatic along with her, and all the hairs on my arms stood up. She went on for five minutes straight, seemingly without taking a single breath, and concluded with, so I want to major in it. Can I do it? Family Resources was not one of the 50 majors that fell under my college advising office, so I needed to do a check from scratch. I grabbed the University Catalog and compared the general education major and credit requirements. After making a long list and taking the prerequisites into account, I realized that I needed to break the hard news to her, it would take her two more years to graduate. With this new major. She immediately crumpled and her eyes filled with tears as I nervously nudged a tissue box toward her, I panicked. I could tell that she felt hopeless and lost. I fell back on my training options. I thought provide options. I uncertainly cleared my throat and gave her three options. Option one, she could take her last semester of classes and graduate next semester with a sociology degree. Option two, she could switch majors and graduate in two years with a family resources degree. Option three, we did not offer a minor certificate or advanced degree so she could graduate with a sociology major and pursue a second degree. She continued to cry softly. By this time, our 30 minute session had extended to an hour and a half. I encouraged her to sleep on it. I was extremely worried about her so I did something that I had never done before. I said, please drop by to see me tomorrow and let me know what you decide. That night I could not sleep. I tossed and I turned as I ruminated on how completely different her life may have been if she had switched majors earlier. The next day, she dropped by around 1pm she broke into a wide, contented smile. I chose option three. She beamed, thank you. I was exhausted by the emotions that I felt over those two days, but I found the experience challenging and rewarding that appointment led me to the work that I do now, as I prepare for advising appointments and take an initial look at the student situation. I assess the potential challenges, of course, but I also start drawing up a list of options. I've been an advisor for a long time, but the reason I selected this particular story is that, as I said in the story, it led me to the work that I do now. I'm the director for an advising office for exploratory students, and we talk about many majors and many options. Also, this student's experience made a deep impression on me and made me realize the importance of helping students to find a best fit major quickly.

Thomas Beckwith  
Snapshots of Mentorship. Thomas Beckwith, formerly of Santa Fe College Gainesville, Florida, currently at the University of Florida in Gainesville, Florida. For most of my life, all I ever want to do is make a difference. I want to be like my hero, an educator and my dad. This was long before I ever knew the purpose and impact of academic advising. As an undergraduate, I frequently visited the Office of Academic Advising, not out of necessity, but more so out of fascination. I had some wonderful academic advisors at Palm Beach community college in Virginia Tech by the time I began my professional career in 2012 as the student experience coordinator at Century College, I had a better understanding of academic advising. I held this role for two years, and I facilitated orientation sessions, advised students and guided numerous students through the college enrollment process. I felt like I was at a place where I was supposed to be. Therefore, it was disconcerting when my position was eliminated due to a budget reduction. I was fortunate in that I was able to make a seamless transition from higher education to the financial industry. For five months, I worked as a retirement services representative at Wells Fargo, where I learned a lot about finances, but I realized I was meant to be a passionate educator, helping students as a result, with the encouragement and support of family and friends, I applied for an academic advisor position at Palm Beach State College. This decision was life changing, and I continued my journey as an academic advisor back in Florida. When I reflect on my academic advising journey, it is twofold. I think of my own academic advisors as an undergraduate as well as the people who have mentored me. The success that I have stumbled upon in my academic advising career is because of these individuals, for instance, my pbcc advisor stressed the importance of understanding the requirements that I needed to complete my associate arts degree, while also ensuring I knew the transfer prerequisites for my intended transfer institution, which at the time was Florida State University, the importance of researching information about transfer institutions was invaluable. Since I would ultimately transfer out of state to Virginia Tech, my academic advisor in the English department at Virginia Tech was amazing. I can still remember when she let me assist her with transfer student orientation sessions during the summer between my junior and senior year. Her enthusiasm and willingness to help students is memorable. My advisors, continuous support helped me through my many rough days, especially since I was a transfer student early on at Virginia Tech, there were days that I felt she was the only friend I had there. Then there was my faculty advisor. I cannot say enough wonderful things about him. His presence was consistent as an instructor and faculty advisor, he surrounded sound advice when it came to hunting my craft as a writer and ensuring that I graduated in a timely manner. At that time in life, I was really stubborn. The coordinator for new student orientation at PBSC was not only the first academic advisor I ever met with as a college student, but he was the person who taught me a lot about New Student Orientation and how to prepare academic plans for incoming students. This information proved to be vitally important with the passage of Florida Senate Bill 1720 which provides exempt students with the option to bypass placement testing and development education with an academic plan. It allows students to familiarize themselves with course sequencing and degree requirement. The new advisor, trainer at PBSC also played a critical role in my development as an academic advisor. She trained me during my time at PBSC and stressed the importance of academic advising notes and documenting student interactions in a succinct, appropriate manner, the importance of successfully preparing for advising sessions were taught to me by a fellow colleague who is a lead advisor for Natural Sciences at Florida, Gulf Coast University. Additionally, he was instrumental in my involvement in external advising communities. We have presented together a few different times on topics about academic policies and marginalized populations. Also, he encouraged me to apply for Nakata Emerging Leaders Program, which I was accepted into for the 2021 2023 class, the value of mentorship has been critical to my success in academic advising. However, snapshots only captured College's story. I helped the past on the lessons I learned to the next generation of academic advisors. 

Thomas Beckwith  
One of the reasons why I wrote this story was because mentorship definitely has impacted not only my personal life, but my professional career, and it's also great to recognize people who are a part of your journey, because the truth of the matter is we as humans have not always done everything on our own, and so I definitely want to put that spotlight and not only provide people with their flowers, but also pay it forward to for people who might be coming behind me as individuals working in higher education, specifically in academic advising. Now, when I wrote the story, I was early on within the NACADA Emerging Leaders Program, so we had just been probably notified maybe a few months before, and it was the first opportunity that was advertised to us by Leigh Cunningham. And I was like, Well, you know, while it's not a part of my goals of the Emerging Leaders Program, there's no harm. And submitting for this particular publication, particularly when it was described as something like Chicken Noodle Soup for the Soul. So, you know, I was like, Oh, that should be fun. So never in my wildest dream that I would be one of the people that stories that would be captured. And so it was just, sort of just by chance, and it worked out.

Colum Cronin  
Learning to Laugh Again. Colum Cronin, formerly senior international officer at Dublin City University, now student engagement officer at the Marino Institute of Education. I was informed that one of the students coming to Ireland on a semester long study abroad program had recently been through a traumatic situation. Tragically, they had lost a number of people close to them, including their best friend. To ensure the student would have a soft landing, I prepared for their arrival and put a number of potential support mechanisms in place. When the student first arrived, they were in a fragile yet hopeful state of mind and said they didn't want the event to define their future. I assured them that it was their story to share and that in groups, I would treat them like everyone else. I emphasized that my office door was open so the student could come to see me whenever they wished, and outlined the additional supports available to them over the course of the semester, the student came to my office to see me regularly. Sometimes they came to talk about their past, their grief and loss, about memories, and sometimes it was just to tell me about a recent trip they had been on over time, they shared that they had become close friends with a number of other students and took the trans to travel extensively, both in Ireland and around Europe. Slowly but surely, I could see they were regaining confidence and reclaiming their youthful sense of adventure. Towards the end of the semester, the student told me that their parents were planning to come for a visit. They were looking forward to showing them the city, and I invited the student to bring them to see where they'd been studying throughout the semester. To my surprise, part of the students tour included a stop at my office. When they arrived, I greeted them warmly, and we chatted briefly. A couple of days later, the student's parents came to see me on their own. My initial thought was one of concern, especially with all the trauma the student had faced. I was worried that something may have happened. The student's mother came to me and asked if she could give me a hug. After doing so, she stepped back and with tears in her eyes, said to me, I wanted to say thank you. My child has learned how to laugh again over here. Thank you. 

Colum Cronin  
When I think back on that semester, the support that wrapped around the student during their study abroad experience offered them the safe space to learn how to embrace life again, it's moments like this that have sustained me for more than 10 years. Working with students, the work we do makes a significant difference. What jumped immediately to me when I saw the call was, this is a story that I come back to on a personal level, because it's probably the nicest thing in a work context that has ever happened to me, that potentially ever will happen to me. And also, I think it highlights the transformative power of education, and that's what I believe in, and I saw it in action. And I think that is, that's what I give, gives the story that the power for me, because this was somebody who came over and life hadn't been fair to them, and they through no fault of their own, they had been through these traumatic experiences, but they were able to rebuild and become, you know, a wonderful person, and regain, as I say in the story, that sense of adventure. And they got to see the magic that I feel is present in the world. And I think that when you work in higher ed, when you work in advising, when you work with students, there are a lot of times where things are difficult and things are challenging, and our institutions, it can be frustrating, but we we all hopefully have that moment of magic In our own experiences that we can find, that we can go back to, and then that is what sustains you through the more mundane tasks, the completing the Excel list or dealing with bureaucracy or dealing with, you know, the frustrations of You're trying to get a proposal through different committees, and they keep wanting more information, or, Oh, we might not be able to do that this semester. Maybe we can do it in the future, and you know that it would be of benefit to the students and to the institution. And then, you know, there is that like, annoyance there, and you're like, Oh, why do I do this, and then you go back to think about why are the reasons that we do this? And to me, it's about the students, and this is the example of the transformative power of what we do. I wasn't alone in putting the support around. I was part of it, but I got to see firsthand. I was the one who got the hug from the student's mother, who got to see her, you know, look me in the eye and say my child learned how to laugh again over here. And that was just immensely powerful. And you know, it it's more at this point. It's more than a decade since that happened, and yet it is something that I think of frequently, and when I maybe meet either students who are thinking of going into higher ed or people who are working in higher ed, and you want to give them a real kind of broad picture of what it's like. So you tell them about some of the frustrations. But equally, I tell this story to say, you know, these are the type, this is the type of wonderful thing that can happen. And I think it's important that we have that, you know, because you do need something to sustain you, ultimately.

Kerry Kincanon  
AI Access and Initials. Kerry Kincanon, Oregon State University, Corvallis, Oregon. I'm starting my 21st year as director of the University Exploratory Studies program uesp at Oregon State University, OSU and 25th year working for this program. At the turn of the century, SH, my predecessor, former supervisor and first advising mentor, built a database in Microsoft Access for us to track appointments and migration of our students as they explored academic pathways and made decisions about major declaration, while not the most graceful of interfaces and painfully slow at times, I cling to this database. It is part of the fabric of our advising practice in UESP. The tables are built, the reports are easy to run. It does the job, and it costs a pittance compared to something more sophisticated. I use our database daily, student and appointment records number in the 10s of 1000s. They serve as small digital impressions of distinctive undergraduates and moments when they engaged with an advisor, moments colored by victory, failure, challenge, recovery, dissonance, frustration, obstinance, celebration, gratitude, learning and growth. I see names that now, many years later, are followed by PhD or MD and names that grace the back of WNBA, NFL and MLB uniforms. I see game changers who brought the first ba to their family tree, and the names who now also answer to mom or dad. I also pridefully see the names of natural educators who went on to graduate and pursue careers in academic advising some now colleagues at OSU, the database has a table that populates the advisor field in various data entry forms. This advisor table is a 24 year archive of 177 different partners in the day to day operation of my professional home interns and volunteers looking to add another dimension to their classroom learning and professional experience over extended, graduate assistants who shape shifted on a daily basis from scholar to practitioner, And of course, all the full time UESP advisors, colleagues and supervisees who have been to borrow Marcia Baxter Magolda's does phrasing to describe an academic advisors relationship to their advisees. Quote, good company for my academic journey. Our access data input for advisors is their initials, perhaps their actual two or three letter initials, or if already taken, an approximate substitute, our team members often shorthand reference each other by their database initials. All of those initials are there in my hippocampus, triggering a richness of memories of dedicated educators, trusted colleagues and beautiful souls. BK, voracious and forthright in her advocacy and fidelity to students. KX, gifted and creative in her teaching and counsel. DD, quick witted, productive and infectious in his energy. TF, so skilled, unflinchingly honest and unparalleled in the loyalty she inspired in her students. NS, intelligent, disciplined and studied in her practice and work ethic. JKL, her tenure marked by her graceful betterment of our advising practices and curriculum. SB, an embodiment of scholarly and cultural wisdom and lived humanity to the benefit of her students. JLA, MR, SES and HH, amazing women who have brought stability and innovation during a period of deep transition for our office and the institution the last four years. And JM, among my first hires as a supervisor who has been the best of professional thought partners and the greatest champion of quality advising. I know good company, indeed. When the call went out for this pocket guide, I was super excited in terms of thinking about what energizes me as an advisor, and obviously the student interactions are first and foremost. But I also thought about the community that I've been able to cultivate as a professional here locally, and just seeing this record that I have of all the names of people that I've had a chance to engage with and learn with, around around academic advising, and particularly advising with exploring students, I think a big part of why I do what I do is the The company I get to keep in this environment.

Jennifer Arin  
Diplomacy, Head butts and a Proverbs Wise Counsel. Jennifer Arin, San Francisco State University. Proverbs often carry sturdy wisdom. Take, for instance, the Spanish language Maxim el que se enoja pierde, which means he who gets mad loses when students confide that in response to some frustration, they spoke angrily to a professor or staff member, I share that time tested proverb in. And advise them to keep a cool head instead. Occasionally, students interpret that detail or saying as a call for passivity. It's not about being passive, I explain. It's about staying calm, and it's about diplomacy to create a positive outcome instead of a self defeating one one sure way to convey that proverbs keen counsel is through sports such as the final Soccer Game of the 2006 World Cup, when France and Italy competed for the title the star of the French team, Zinedine Zidane had announced his pending retirement, and this last game as his last, Zidane had led the French team from one triumph to another. So fans and rivals alike assumed that zidan's final game would end in glory. But during that last match, France poised for the win, one of the Italian players whispered crude comments to Zidane about his mother and sister. Zidane later told the press on the field at that moment, Zidane enraged, gave the Italian a head butt in the chest, and was instantly expelled from the game. With his ousting, Italy took the championship. As we watched that game, stunned, I uttered to the friend next to me, el que se enoja pierde, exactamente, he replied, He who gets mad loses the game. Examples abound of hot headed athletes penalized for their outbursts during my advising sessions. Those examples easily buoy the lesson of the proverb, which even the most irate students embrace, especially when presented as a call for diplomacy, that's because diplomacy isn't about giving up one's voice, but about using it effectively. In that context, students grasp that they should champion their cause with composure rather than wrath, time and again and always to good effect. I've watched my advisees learn to handle problems more diplomatically, a sign that they're maturing. So has Zidane, who was later named the coach of Spain's venerable Real Madrid team and proved expert in the role bad situations can turn around second chances come and to coax those better times into being. Advisors can deliver the win for students through the wisdom of a prized and nimble proverb. 

Jennifer Arin  
So what prompted me to write this particular piece is that I think every advisor knows that sometimes we get students who come in and they're angry. They're angry about something. Usually it's because they feel they've been treated unfairly about something. And what I've noticed is that the student comes in and is clearly enervated by some situation. I've always had very good luck working with the students who who come and present in that particular moment as angry, even if they're really angry, because what I find over and over again is they just want to be listened to. I mean, also they want solutions. They want to be heard. And by the time they get to that point of being angry, it's the same as for anyone it's because they've had one experience after another of not being helped or not being heard. So I find that number one just just listening, just seeing what is the problem. And as with all of us, they they calm down right away. And it's a colleague of mine in our history department, a Mexican, Mexican, born and raised colleague, who taught me that proverb, that Spanish language proverb, and I told that to a student, and it worked. And I thought that's interesting. You know, this proverb is pretty nifty, and it's it's one that that I find a good reminder, because we all have our frustrations in life, frankly, right? So it's just about once they understand. It's just about the way to make themselves heard. They're on board.